01/03/2023 Things I like Fonts Curating playlists Multitasking Desserts Walking in places I haven't been Reading things that change my mind Sneakers ​

01/04/2023

​ 01/09/2023 Last night, I had a dream someone was testing me on Korean characters, like 반짝반짝. ​

01/20/2023 I had a dream yesterday about Cohere API. ​

02/2023

​ 02/11/2023 I had a dream I met someone born on August 8, 2002. They said, "Today's my birthday," and I was like, "What do you mean? Wasn't it just February 8?" But I checked the date, and it was actually August... how did the time pass by so fast? ​

02/14/2023 People can sincerely believe something and be wrong. Different belief systems contradict each other, so it's not possible that they all coexist. I think a lot of your worldview is shaped by how you grew up and what experiences you had, most of which you can't control. There are so many people who die young. Why is life so unfair? Is believing something out of convenience, really believing? ​

02/15/2023 I am more nervous to talk to new people than I am in a job interview. Potential friend vs. potential job. Normal people don't take notes of things to talk to people about, right? I think this is common for job interviews, but not so much other social situations.

​ 02/21/2023

​ 02/23/2023

​​ 02/28/2023

​ 03/04/2023 In my dream, I was at a fancy house. There was laundry detergent and bean soup, and the ceiling was leaking. ​

03/05/2023

​ 03/14/2023

​ 03/16/2023 Saw 0428 from Wonderland at Grace YA today. ​

03/18/2023

​ 03/20/2023 Most social media apps are kind of overstimulating for me. It feels like walking into a room full of people you haven’t talked to in years, that are waiting for you to text them back. And I would like to not step foot inside of that room. ​

03/21/2023 Sometimes helping people is dangerous. Most of the time, if you help people, they appreciate and respect your time. They may even want to return the favour. (Which generally is not the reason I help people, but it is a nice additional benefit.) But sometimes, if you help people once, or do a small favour, they will just keep on asking you. Kind of like taking advantage of you, whether they realize it or not. It is important to say no to those things, and recognize the difference between people. It is also important to make sure you are not one of those people, either. Some people scam your money, and other people scam your time. ​

03/22/2023 Once you appeal to too many people, you start to lose yourself. Mainstream is not cool. ​

03/25/2023 I feel a similar way about playlists. I think mine are infinitely better than what Spotify AI generates. And I enjoy the process of making them. ​

03/26/2023

​ 03/2023 January to March.

​ 04/01/2023

​ 04/04/2023 3 types of playlists I make

1. The ones that have everything
2. The ones that are more quality > quantity
3. The ones that are more like a queue, just what I want to listen to, not following a specific theme

​ 04/07/2023 What I value in a job

• Ownership over work and decisions
• Meaningful work
• To make history
• Company values work quality and provides resources to help produce best work
• People are smart and care about what they do
• People are multifaceted, and have different backgrounds and interests outside of their direct job functions
• High compensation, base and options
• People give honest feedback and collectively want to make the product better
• "Get shit done" mentality
• Strong leadership and overall company performance

In a person

• Someone who actively seeks the truth, regardless of if it's what they want to hear or not
• Not super indecisive
• Independent and critical thinker
• Good memory
• Not sheltered
• World doesn't revolve around them
• Balance of risk and stability
• A little jaded

In a place to live

• Walkable with good public transit
• Friends are there
• Pretty
• Near Asian grocery stores

​ 04/08/2023

​ 04/09/2023 In my dream, I had eye blood. Not again. It will go away soon, but not soon enough. I'm in the washroom with the door closed, people are asking me. ​

04/10/2023 What if Apple Photos had analytics? 50% of your photos were selfies 25% were food pictures 25% were screenshots ​

04/11/2023 I dreamed I was listening in on this conversation of high up school officials. (They didn't know I was there.) One of them said something like, "I don't think I should let everyone graduate, we are making it too easy. They should try harder. I want to raise the bar."

He started reading a list of students' names and the reason their graduation was being questioned, for most of them it was related to low participation. When they got to the second last person on the list, they said my name and brought up some of my low marks.

Somehow I wasn't surprised and was lowkey expecting it. In the dream, I was also still really confident that I would be able to graduate anyways, and found their conversation slightly entertaining. ​

04/25/2023

​ 04/29/2023 I dreamed I left all my clothes in a suitcase on the subway, and I had no more clothes. When I woke up, I was happy to see my clothes. ​

05/07/2023

​ 05/09/2023 In my dream, someone asked me for samples of "Für Elise" in songs, similar to "Bye Bye" by Red Velvet. And I was like, I have a Spotify playlist for that. ​

05/10/2023 I had a dream I forgot my friend's birthday, then she sent a Google form for availability. I saw graphic design with crystal letters in it. ​

05/12/2023 Words I am allergic to now Passion AI UX

​ 05/16/2023

​ 05/18/2023 I had a nightmare about GradEx yesterday. Basically it ended and I threw out my box. But then there was an announcement that they were extending GradEx for one more day, and I had to remake the box. ​

05/19/2023 In my dream, I was a student in high school. For our concert, we had to buy circle shaped foods. Our music teacher came by and she forgot to buy it. We recommended her to get donuts or Timbits. Then she also said that if the school was full on the night of the concert, we would get to go on a trip, so we invited a lot of people who used to go to that school.

A few hours later, more people started to enter. We went to the bleachers, except there was a board where some chairs were on, and it wasn't very balanced. Someone called my name, so I turned around while on the board, and then someone else sitting on the board fell on the ground.

So I ran outside to get the nurse, but then I found that another person had slipped on the floor in the hallway and was lying there. When I came back, they all seemed better, like it wasn't that serious.

​ 05/20/2023 I dreamed of ballet flats, like bootleg Miu Miu. They were selling them at Wonderland, in a makeshift gift shop tent setup outside. It was starting to rain, so people were leaving to go back. A shop was packing sunglasses, are they gone? ​

05/22/2023

Old people tend to talk more about the past, and young people like to talk about the future.

– My dad ​

05/23/2023 In my dream, I got a call from a delivery company and I almost didn't pick up, but good thing I did. They told me that I need to go their location and pick up my package in the next 20 minutes, otherwise it will be returned. I forgot about this package. I think I bought scissors, but I'm not sure.

Then I was running to the delivery location so that I could retrieve the scissors. On the way, I saw a girl who I was supposed to meet for Depop, but I completely forgot about her as well, so I was surprised to see her. I didn't even think today was the day we supposed to meet. Wasn't it like yesterday? But she didn't seem mad or anything. Anyways, I got my scissors and talked to the girl. That's all. ​

05/25/2023 I dreamed I was in what was either a hospital or a jail that seemed to be underground. The lighting wasn't that good, but it wasn't dark either. Most of the dream took place in the hallways, the walls were mostly dark grey concrete but some of them were painted orange.

I'm not sure if I was there to visit a patient or inmate or if I was there on some kind of group trip. I didn't know the people that well, so I was mostly following this girl who was also a visitor. She went to the washroom, so I decided to explore the other side of the floor while she was in there. I went through a door and got to the other side. There were a few other people, I'm not sure if they were inmates or visitors. The vibe was different, and I didn't want to go too far, so I headed back to the washroom to find the girl. I thought she was still in there and I started to need to pee as well, so I went into one of the stalls and I glanced under to see if her shoes were there. I remember she had orange shoes, but the person in the stall beside me had black shoes.

I don't know if this is true, but lately I've been thinking – in order to be interested in a lot of things, you must also be uninterested in a lot of things. For example, quantity. You see a lot and are more picky, but the overall amount of things is greater. Kind of like how picky I am with music, but because I have listened to a lot of it? Like many genres, but I also dislike many songs. (Or maybe not dislike, but I can very quickly tell if I would like a song or not.) ​

05/26/2023

​ 06/03/2023

​ 06/09/2023

​ 06/11/2023 I had a dream of a game, where there are images in a row. It's a team game with a time limit. You have to write a number of words related to each image.

​ 06/14/2023 I know the pandemic was a long time ago, but I’m still getting used to talking to people on a regular basis, after that period of time where it was socially acceptable for me to not leave my house for days. Over the past year or so, I’ve found myself in the same conversations, thinking about what to say:

Social media I didn’t watch your story, I didn’t see that TikTok. 

I grew up understanding human relationships as equal amounts of give and take. If they invite us to their house for dinner, we should have them over next time. If they give us a gift for Christmas, we should give them something, too. So when I started using social media, I treated it with the same expectations. If you like my photo, I should like yours. If you reply to me instantly, I should quickly think of what to say. Gradually, phrases like ‘texting back’ and ‘follow back’ became a part of our vocabulary.

These kind of micro-burdens made most social media apps overstimulating for me. Opening Instagram felt like entering a room full of people I hadn’t talked to in years, who were all waiting for me to text them back. And I didn’t want to step foot inside of that room.

In middle school, ‘liking’ my friends’ pictures was often an item on my to do list, completed by scrolling and double tapping until there were no more new posts. When I was particularly tired, I’d do it with my eyes closed. You like all of my pictures, but you’re always one week late, someone once told me.

Eventually, though, I gave up on my ‘liking’ streak. The more years you spend being alive, the more people you follow. My system couldn’t scale. Are we meant to know this many people?

These days, I’ll occasionally tiptoe into Instagram to promote a project, or to reply to messages. During these visits, I’ll make an effort to engage with a couple of posts. Whatever I miss, I’m sure that I’ll hear about the important stuff another way, sooner or later. I have post notifications turned on for a handful of friends I don’t see regularly, I watch a lot of YouTube videos, and browse the web. For the time being, this is a balance I’m satisfied with.

Living alone I like coming home to no one. 

My friend once sent me a video of a girl asking the audience what this statement meant – When I’m with you, I feel alone.

What a compliment, I thought. To be comfortable enough with someone, to the point where you can be yourself as if you’re alone, that is special. (In case you were wondering the other interpretation of this statement, it is something more like, being with you makes me feel lonely.)

This doesn’t mean I’m perpetually uncomfortable around humans. I don’t mind talking to strangers, and the world has many interesting people that I would hang out with… just not for an extended period of time. 

So after a day outside, where I inevitably cross paths with a number of people, I like to come home to a place where I feel no social obligations.

Being excited Are you excited to move to a new city? Are you excited to start a new job? Are you excited to go on a date with someone new? 

I hesitate because I don’t know how to answer honestly. It’s not that I don’t want to move, or that I don’t want to work there, or that I don’t want to date him. There are just too many variables, things that can go wrong – visa issues, layoffs, breakups. I don’t stress about them because they’re out of my control, but I also don’t take them for granted. Being excited creates more opportunities to be disappointed.

I let myself get excited over trying a new restaurant, opening a blind box, waiting for new music from my favourite artists. I can risk the small things.

Umbrellas I don’t have an umbrella. 

I used to have one. Every time it rained, the wind would blow my umbrella upside down, which rendered it useless, and left me with a bulky piece of plastic I carried around in the rain. Then I would bring it indoors, where it made a puddle on the ground, that I had to clean. I feel similarly about raincoats for this reason. So I don’t see the benefit of umbrellas. 

Now, when it rains, I stay inside. If I must leave the house, I wear a hoodie to cover my headphones, and waterproof Air Force 1s to keep my socks dry. That being said, if someone knows a better solution, I am all ears.

Missing people I’ll miss you. I miss you. I missed you. 

My first memory of people saying I’ll miss you was probably in the 3rd or 4th grade, when one of my classmates left our school to attend a new one. I used to think I miss you was just something people said to be polite, so I said it back.

But I wouldn’t say it to my mom, because I didn’t feel the need to pretend in front of her. One evening, after a week of being away at summer camp, she said, I missed you. I didn’t say anything, so she asked, You didn’t miss me?

I don’t need to miss you because I’ll see you again, I replied. And so far, I’ve been fortunate enough to not have anyone close to me leave permanently. 

I remember asking her what it meant to miss someone. If I’m thinking about someone, does that mean I miss them? If I wish they were here, does that mean I miss them? If I’m thinking about them but I don’t wish they were here, what does that mean? I’m still not sure if I know the answer. Maybe if I have my own kids, I’ll understand. ​

06/15/2023

​ 06/17/2023

​ 06/22/2023

​ 06/28/2023

​ 06/2023 April to June.

​ 07/23/2023 July 16 to 23.

​ 07/28/2023 In my dream, there was a party in a small store. I saw old contact lenses, I was washing a sink and bathtub. It was a little bit bloody. My hands were dirty, so I couldn't get a garbage bag. 0025 couldn't get it, either. My mom wanted my dad to get it, but my dad wasn't getting it or picking up his phone. So I couldn't clean before I had to go.

At a hotel, the visitor next door worked at Addepar. They were using their laptop outside. 0136 ate my York chocolate. Then I woke up. ​

07/2023 July.

​ 08/10/2023 Finally saw my first rat. ​

08/21/2023 Yihui's fruit sandwich.

​ 08/2023 August.

​ 09/03/2023

​ 09/29/2023

​ 09/30/2023

​ 10/05/2023 I accept that I don't get what I want and things don't go my way. I know there is always something beautiful and I look for it. I aim to want less. ​

10/14/2023 If you get very rich, you can pay people to make your side project ideas. ​

10/20/2023 Blendy sticks from May 19 to October 20.

​ 10/23/2023 0447's birthday.

​ 10/28/2023

​ 10/29/2023

​ 11/01/2023 Got reimbursed for my NewJeans mousepads because they are important office expenses.

​ 11/03/2023 I'd rather use a generative tool where I wrote the rules, not someone else. ​

11/04/2023 In my dream, I was supposed to fly to Paris this weekend with my parents. I was asking all my friends if they wanted to come with me, but only one person who I didn't know well said yes. (Why did I even ask them in the first place?) Because of that, I was trying to get more people to come, so it wouldn't be awkward. ​

11/09/2023 Today 0448 told me, "It'd be a good growth experience for you to yell at people." ​

11/16/2023 I had a dream about Starbucks. A green tea cappuccino and a long line. I love waking up early to see the sunrise on my phone. ​

11/19/2023 In real life, I don't like sharing things with people that I don't already know about them. What I mean is, if I don't know something like how many siblings you have, I don't want to tell you how many siblings I have. I'd rather know more about others than they know about me.

​ 11/25/2023 In defense of haters If we had more haters in the world, there'd be less things to hate. Haters are just perfectionists to the world. They have higher expectations for the things around them. ​

11/29/2023 The more you give, the more they take. ​

12/01/2023 A screenshot is just something at a point in time. It can and will change. ​

12/09/2023

​ 12/10/2023 Outfits I wore from October 23 to December 10.

​ 12/15/2023

​ 12/23/2023 Recent dreams Seeing 0291 Going to the airport, but the plane was a standing only aircraft that looked like a UFO Getting left behind at an ice cream store Being chased Committing crimes and strange family relations Work related stuff ​

12/24/2023 以前我会说我不后悔，但现在…

Not saying goodbye to 0291 Not learning to ride a bike Not practicing enough and failing my driving test Ghosting ​

12/26/2023

​ 12/28/2023 Instead of being scared to die, be thankful to be alive. ​

12/29/2023

​ 12/2023 November to December.

​ Related Japan GradEx 108 Apt 3D