09/2018 September planner.

​ 09/12/2018 I'm running on a clock, chasing the hand, getting pushed by the finger of time. ​

09/15/2018 I like talking to slow texters, because it's not always on me to reply. It's stressful talking to fast texters, because it's always on me to reply next. And if I reply, they reply right back. I'm not trying to have a conversation. ​

09/20/2018 Did the MBTI before, but I've changed I guess. Used to be INTJ, but got a lot of ties this time. So I figured I'd talk about both to make this assignment a little more interesting for myself.

I used to be a huge introvert, but in the past two years, the experiences I've had have really changed me, and forced me to become more outgoing. I used to be more shy and quiet, and care a lot about what other people thought of me. I still do, but not as much. I'm not as afraid of starting conversations with people, or speaking up when I want to.

After being in the same school for a long time, I finally went to new places, met new people, and learned that most people are pretty nice, unless you give them a reason not to be. These situations forced me to learn how to talk, and showed me that people can be pretty interesting. ​

​ 09/22/2018

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09/30/2018

​ 10/2018 October planner.

​ 10/09/2018 Asleep.

​ 10/13/2018 Second best is still pretty good. ​

10/15/2018

​ 10/17/2018

​ 10/18/2018 I hate wearing uniform at school, I have so many good fits. ​

10/19/2018

​ 10/22/2018 Everyone wants something from me. I feel like I'm cut up into tiny pieces. Texts, missed calls, and notifications. People eating tiny pieces of me. ​

10/29/2018

​ 10/31/2018 Having my period on Halloween is so on theme. ​

11/12/2018 My coping mechanism is being busy and distracting myself with stuff to do. ​

11/15/2018

​ 11/22/2018

​ 12/14/2018 MHF4U at 8:25 am, by Jocelyn.

​ 12/18/2018

​ 12/25/2018

​ 01/05/2019

​ 01/08/2019

​ 01/18/2019 In my dreams, my friend left her boyfriend for someone else. I was visiting her, about to enter her house, when I saw her ex-boyfriend, who just found out about the other guy. He was really mad, and was trying to destroy her house, breaking the windows, and wanting to harm her. But she was in the basement, and locked him out. I tried to enter the basement through another window, but the ex-boyfriend saw me, and came at me with a knife. We fought with his knife, and I was able to throw it through the window into the basement. I had another knife, putting me at an advantage. But I decided to also throw it in the basement, because I did not want to use violence.

I went to an Italian restaurant with 0025. The name on the receipt was "0025 Mozzarella." We ended up getting food and meeting sketchy people. I got pizza quesadillas. There was a group of kids who were in jail, and had a deep underwater aesthetic. They were trying to warn us about something, but it was not clear. Later on, we kept being followed, and the receipt kept showing up. I was alone in the daytime, and some cops came up to me. They held up the receipt and said, "We know it's you." I told them I had no idea what they were talking about, and they didn't seem to believe me. I answered no to all their questions. They seemed to get annoyed, and finally pulled out a gun. "Got any nicknames?" they asked me. "No?" I replied. The gun was scaring me, so I added, "Tetrachris? 99maple?" because maybe those would count. They laughed in disbelief and said, "So you're not a drug dealer?" It seemed like they still didn't believe me.

I had to act in a live action play as Matt Bennett's love interest. It was a really weird experience, and the cast and crew came to my house a few times. 0340 was also in the play at the beginning, and 0341 fell in love with him. After the play, I was sitting on the couch with Matt, asking him about his work with Mars Argo and Ariana Grande. Also, 0315 was there. After everyone left, the house felt very empty and in need of cleaning.

Another time, I had taken a break from working at Coasters, since I was on vacation, facing accusations of dealing drugs. On one of my last vacation days, I went to Wonderland for fun with a few friends. I went inside to visit Coasters, and everything was so different. They turned Coasters into an Italian restaurant and Pizza Pizza hybrid. A lot of the staff was different, and I barely knew them. When I went inside, they gave me hugs and said they missed me. A brown sink was added in the back, and the lighting was really bad. In the front, they added some pizza machines and a lot of new equipment. I was very surprised as I left. Then I woke up. ​

01/22/2019

​ 02/05/2019

​ 02/11/2019

​ 02/18/2019 Bucket list Learn to DJ Start a clothing brand Learn the guitar Start a YouTube or Vimeo channel Create my own website (or multiple) Learn to ride a bike Go to Japan Be in a band Attend a hackathon ​

02/20/2019

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02/27/2019

​ 03/01/2019

​ 03/19/2019

​ 03/20/2019

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03/24/2019

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03/25/2019 What I did this March Break Worked at Sunnybrook 2 times Worked at Wonderland 4 times Went to driving school 3 times Shipped 5 packages Redid the Consequence website Joined the design team on HAX Got my Smart Serve certification Majorly cleaned my room ​

04/2019 April to dos.

​ 04/15/2019

​ 04/19/2019 I feel like I'm living three lives but I only have one body.

​ 04/29/2019 One night, I was trying to fall asleep. It had been a long day, and I hit the bed, ready to drift off. At that moment, I heard what sounded like a woman screaming outside my window. My first thought was to call 911, but denial kicked in. All sorts of reasons filled my head, why I shouldn't do anything.

The screams sounded so uniform, surely they couldn't be coming from a person. I couldn't make out any words, just the repeating shrills, boring into my mind. Not once did I hear "Please stop," or "Help me." But the sharp screams were begging me.

Could it be an animal? That would make sense. All the while, the high pitches became louder, my body felt locked within itself. I couldn't bring myself to get up, or even move. I couldn't bear to look outside, for fear of seeing something truly terrifying. And the thought that maybe there was a perpetrator, maybe they would see me, and come after me, too.

I started to wonder if I would hear about this on the news the next morning. Would I be guilty for not doing anything? If something really did happen, would I, as a resident of the neighbourhood, be questioned? Would I be held as a witness in court?

I heard a car pass by. If there really was someone in trouble, I thought it would make a stop. Eventually, the screams faded away into the darkness of night, as I fell into the realm of sleep. ​

05/08/2019

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05/12/2019

​ 05/13/2019

​ 05/15/2019

​ 05/17/2019

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05/30/2019

​ 05/31/2019

​ 06/01/2019 Hi 0342,

I recently came back from a short trip building houses in Tijuana, Mexico with my Gr. 12 graduating class. Thank you so much for your support through prayers, and helping raise funds towards construction materials.

On this trip, we partnered with Mexico Caravan Ministries to serve the community, and also heard messages from a few speakers who have gone on long-term missions overseas. I learned a lot more than I expected to, about Mexico and unreached people groups in the world.

Our first day onsite, my group met a family, consisting of a single mother, four kids, and their grandmother. The mother works nights at a factory to support her household, and they currently all live in a space no bigger than the size of my room. We were scheduled to do a cement pour to lay the foundation for their new house. However, the motor on the cement mixer overheated, so we weren’t able to finish. We felt terrible that we couldn’t complete it, but the circumstances were out of our control.

Despite this, the family welcomed us with open arms. They were so understanding, and even served us lunch, which typically costs a week’s worth of wages to prepare. Because it was the day after Mother’s Day, the grandmother gave us each a piece of embroidery she did by hand, telling us it was for us to give to our mothers. We were so overwhelmed by their kindness and generosity. I learned a lesson that day – it’s important to have a heart to give, but we must also be thankful to receive.

Fortunately, the next two house builds went as planned. Once again, we were very blessed to labour alongside each other and spend time with the families eating lunch, playing with the kids, praying together, and learning new Spanish terms.

Another day, we visited a community known as Shantytown to hand out food and water. When we got there, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was literally a landfill, a garbage dump, and people lived there, in makeshift structures that you could barely call homes. We were told that people made a living off of sorting through the garbage and selling it, and there were no schools around that their children could go to. Their hands were completely black with dirt, and the whole area smelled of smoke and burning trash. I’ve never witnessed poverty like this, and honestly, I don’t think I've ever felt so useless standing there, wishing there was something I could to do to help these people get out. Nevertheless, above all, God is sovereign and knows what he’s doing. Please keep these people in your prayers! ​

06/2019 Mr. 0195 , by Jocelyn.

​ 06/25/2019 Wrote my calculus exam this morning. I can't go to university if I don't finish this, so it's kind of a big deal... I got early acceptance to Western, which has a calc requirement, then decided to go to York, so I dropped calc. Then I changed my mind about Western, and registered for an online calc class. ​

06/27/2019 Today I PASSED CALC! And then graduated.