09/08/2015
I really like my class. It's small, 14 kids, but I think it'll be fun this year. We have two new kids, 0167
and 0168
. Everyone thinks 0167
is cool and we're all not sure of 0168
yet. I tripped during gym class today, but what isn't a first day without tripping? Something embarrassing has got to happen. I think my teachers are all really nice so far, and the only thing that sucks is that my locker is really hard to open. 0169
in Grade 11 helped me open it, and said it was 0070
's locker last year.
09/09/2015
Today was kinda fun. I didn't do anything majorly embarrassing, except be myself (which is pretty embarrassing in itself). Chapel with Dr. 0171
was really good. In PE we played ultimate frisbee, which I suck at, but we ran, so that made Gym okay. I was third, behind 0132
and 0168
. I had Tech with people from both 9A and 9B.
After school was over, we crashed the middle school classrooms. Mrs. 0117
and Mrs. 0172
were okay with it, but Mr. 0145
scared us, so we all ran away. Everyone here is nice, even though they are sometimes boring when they talk. Sometimes they can be funny though. I had cucumbers and waffles, then art class.
09/10/2015
Today was busy but great. I had waffles (well only one) for breakfast, with smoked salmon on top! And I wrapped it like a taco. In geography class, we played this game in the Cave, where we were split up into two teams, and we had to get to the other side, while stepping on pieces of paper. Our team won.
School was like a big hole of information today. Gym was okay, except that 0012
kept asking me some uncomfortable questions. She's really nice, but she's the type of person that will sit really close to you, so you move over a bit, and then she moves even closer to you.
At the end of the day, our hallway talk was better than usual. I had a Tim Hortons breakfast wrap, and people kept talking to me about it? I don't know. We talked a lot, and with Ms. 0173
and Mr. 0146
. At night, I did a lot of homework. We had a Grade 8 review test today. Everything is falling into routine.
09/11/2015
Where do I start? Last night, after recording my thoughts and things, I took a shower. Something began to taste salty and metallic. I brought my fingers to my lips and all I saw was blood. Yeah, I had a nosebleed last night. And I really hate nosebleeds.
This morning, I cleaned the blood from my nose. PE is okay now. The beginning is always running, so I'm fine. Today we did Line Tag and 0168
kept chasing me. At the end, we played this keep-up game with the frisbee. In Math today, 0026
was being too nice, as usual.
At night, I had something, I'm not sure how to describe it, but it was like hacking sobs and shortage of breath, feeling helplessness and so much pressure. I stayed in my dark room for a bit, then took a walk.
09/14/2015
School today was okay. I honestly don't remember doing anything special. I'm learning to really speed up in everything I do. It's better to be the first one changed for Gym, rather than the last. Today in Gym, we finally got to play a mini scrimmage of ultimate frisbee. It was okay. I think we're still getting the hang of it. It's a lot better than some other sports though. At home I was in my room, doodling, reading a bit, going on Tumblr and Twitter, doing homework, and listening to Oh Wonder.
09/15/2015
In class today we did the usual. I won't bore you with details. Always having lots of work to do... gotta learn to be more efficient and care less about what others think.
09/16/2015
It's only been seven days of school so far? Everything seems to be passing by slowly. Nothing really interesting happens. We just learn. I had a science quiz today. I may have lost a $50 cheque. I'm lowkey stressing out over everything. The next few days will be so busy.
We had Health today. I like the tech room because there are spinny chairs. After school, I had art class. (I'm catching up!) My dad had to go somewhere, so he dropped me off at the mall first. I had a bagel, and I bought Man Overboard and Arcade Fire shirts from Hot Topic. They're having a grand opening this Saturday so I might go. Then I walked to class. I should have been studying and working on assignments tonight, but I was tired. Man, I'm procrastinating. On a happier note, we had Chapel today. It wasn't boring. I liked it.
09/18/2015
I'm tired. Today was a long day. I got six hours of sleep. I spent all morning colouring and labelling maps. I was almost late for school. I'm not usually the type to believe this, but I really think Mercury's retrograde is affecting me. There was the incident yesterday, and today all my conversations were awkward. Wait. My conversations are always awkward.
We did a science quiz today and got put into groups for a lab experiment about plant growth in soils of different pH. In Tech, 0011
and I are doing our presentation on Aboriginal hip-hop. I hope I'm not bossy. PE was dodgeball and it was kind of eventful.
It's going to be a busy weekend. I'm tired. I went to Malachi Fellowship today. I had a lot of anxiety and stomach pain because I was late and too scared to go into the room, so I stayed in the hall for a while. Then 0174
realized I was there. There were less people than I thought, and a lot of people I know. It was interesting. I'm still an awkward kid.
09/20/2015
09/21/2015
Today felt like that song, "Dreams And Disasters" by Owl City. I keep having this recurring dream where my iPad keeps coming back to life, but I can't use it because the cracks scar me for life, and I can't make myself look at the screen. Only half of that is true.
Today Math made me feel really good about myself. In Gym, we did frisbee drills and people actually passed to me. After school, I texted 0054
on 0011
's phone, and he called us. All of us hallway kids said hi and stuff. He asked for our numbers. And 0002
came over. I put waffles in the toaster oven, took them out, and scooped red bean ice cream on top. I am very overwhelmed, tired, confused, and I am a mess.
09/22/2015
I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope, and any small mistake will bring me off balance. Everytime I falter, I feel like I'm about to fall off. Living life on the edge is not as exciting as people say it is.
Still feeling stressed. In Science today, we did a simulation about rabbits and lynxes to represent exponential growth, and it was a lot of fun. I was with 0112
and 0002
. Tech was good today because 0011
and I presented, and we got to spend most of class time on the Internet (Tumblr, Twitter, music – the drill). I finally posted an update set on Polyvore.
09/23/2015
Big ball of stress in my chest! Didn't do too well on a few quizzes. Need to work harder, but also need to fix sleep schedule! Finally handed in community hours sheets. Photo day today. Art class was good. I don't want to make my parents worried about me.
09/24/2015
I remember today vividly. In Geography, we took up the time zone sheet. I'm not being treated as an equal individual of 9A, which means I need to get a very high mark on the upcoming test. Which means studying. In Science, we calculated our ecological footprint. We did more frisbee drills, which are getting fun.
0130
, 0002
and I walked to Tim Hortons for lunch today. 0130
told me that someone used to like me, but I'm not completely convinced. Sometimes I feel delusional. Mom took me to the mall and we ordered a phone. Now that I'm getting a nice phone, I have lots of conditions to follow. Today's vibe is "Gimme Sympathy" by Metric.
09/25/2015
As soon as I got to school, I found out the science quiz we were having first block was not only on the carbon and water cycle. It was on all of Chapter 1 as well. Thankfully, I think I did okay. In Geography, there was a fire drill. We also had Mr. 0148
for Bible today! It was great. We were just talking about how we missed him yesterday. During homeroom, the student council gave us a welcome package with snacks and stuff. And in PE, we finally had a real ultimate frisbee scrimmage!
After school, I went to Malachi Fellowship. We played Taboo and Charades. The word I kept getting was 0175
, and I had no idea who he was, so I pointed to random people. Also, I am not the only one who wrote Obama.
09/27/2015
Blood moon.
09/28/2015
Well, maybe I lost control again. Didn't get a good sleep last night, we were trying to see the super blood moon.
Geography test this morning. Don't think I did too well, but I know I tried my best. Really. In Gym today I ran laps with 0176
and 0177
. 0176
still remembers me from Grace Camp. Also, we finally did a scrimmage in Gym, even though it was indoors. In Math, Mrs. 0178
partnered us up based on multiple personality tests. Interestingly enough, I got paired with 0131
. Apparently we're both "naturalists." A bunch of people visited us today – 0179
, 0137
, 0151
, 0152
, 0080
, 0140
, 0180
, 0181
... we had 8A homeroom. Mr. 0146
cried real tears.
10/02/2015
The road trip was the best thing to happen to me since Chandos. On Tuesday, we accidentally attended HOSA for free pizza and wings. On Wednesday I bought glow-in-the-dark skeleton gloves, then had a breakdown. And on Thursday and Friday, I had a great time. My roommates were 0002
, 0136
, 0026
, and 0056
. 9A ate lunch outside, and bees kept attacking us. House games were funny, and I got to know the older Heralds more. We lost a lot though. I learned that 0182
likes Triple A steak, and 0183
likes EDM music.
I partnered with 0002
for Orienteering. We accidentally jumped into a puddle, and a lot of other people did the same. We only found 9 out of 14 areas. 0134
, 0139
, and 0168
completed everything. During free time, I drank 7UP and took two of 0132
's Mike and Ikes. We hung out by the swings and did chin-ups.
Worship night was amazing. Then there was prayer and the older high schoolers individually prayed for us, the niners. I prayed with 0184
first and then 0185
. Also, I really admire 0184
, she's like the coolest person ever. We prayed for each other, the students who left last year, this year, and the 4 years to come.
Afterwards, there was a campfire. 0026
and I hung out with 0134
and 0139
. 0134
fell and his hand was bleeding. 0131
, 0138
, 0026
and I were listening to The Weeknd, then we got into an argument with 0138
about whose hand hurt more, 0134
or 0139
. 0136
and 0011
then kidnapped 0138
, and he suffered but did not die. 0138
wanted to get revenge on 0136
, but didn't succeed. It was the funniest thing and I probably peed my pants. At night in our room, we had those deep late night conversations about 0002
's problems, social skills, boys, feminism, BLM, and listened to 0136
sleeptalk.
In the morning, I got up extra early to go on a run with 0186
and the rest of the running club. It was really fun, we ran past some homes and the highway at sunrise. Breakfast was good, then there was free time and more house games! During free time, I jumped on the trampoline with 0002
and tried to initiate a dance battle between 0167
and 0038
. 0002
even rapped "Super Bass."
Then 0011
, 0038
and I did a photoshoot in the trees. We went under branches, by the lake, behind trunks, and stood on ropes. It was really fun. We also kept bumping into 0134
and 0139
, because they were in the trees too. 0139
climbed a tree, and 0134
was trying to throw seaweed at us. Then us five sat at the fire pit. 0011
, 0038
and I did archery as well, with two Grade 10s.
Lunch was pretty bomb. There was mac and cheese! Then our high school took a group photo and loaded the buses.
10/08/2015
Field trip to the Ontario Science Centre.
10/11/2015
I'm Christina, or 加加. I'm getting baptized because in Matthew 28:19, Jesus said to his disciples to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Also, Jesus set an example for us, because he was baptized.
I grew up in this church, and I've being going to a Christian school since JK. So I learned a lot about God. And that was the only worldview I ever knew, so I accepted it. Eventually, I learned more evidence that proved the Bible was true and it made sense to me.
In elementary school, I thought you had to perfect to be "saved." I tried for a day and I failed. Later I found out that God knows we can't be perfect, so that's why he sent his perfect son to die for us. I remember learning that God chose not to see our sin, but instead Jesus' sacrifice. Still, for a few years, I felt like I wasn't doing enough.
In Grade 6, my teacher made us start a daily Bible reading plan. I got to know God more, and my school community has been very strengthening. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) I know that there's nothing I could do, except live by the grace of God. So yeah, that's my testimony. Happy Thanksgiving!
10/18/2015
10/19/2015
It's 1:22 am and I just finished my paper plane project. 0131
just finished studying. I was listening to Gemineyes and I love their music.
10/24/2015
Okay, so I know it's not a school day and I haven't been on in a while, but I wanted to record this moment. I get mood swings, but right now I feel joy, and I feel an overwhelming love for the world. I thought ballet and fellowship were going to suck, but they were actually kinda awesome. And I love my class, the fact that we embrace and appreciate 0168
, make 0167
a birthday card, and build each other up. Last night, we were talking about real friends. I think real friends make you a better person.
And today, I worked pretty hard in dance, and doing math and technology. I felt so blessed, but I don't deserve any of it, and it kind of scares me that it could all be taken away. But I know that God has a plan. I had such a great time today, laughing with 0028
, 0026
, and 0136
at Chatime.
11/2015
I couldn't get a decent sleep last night. Every time I drifted off, I always dreamed of a lady with a large floppy hat, a plastic mask with eye holes, and my mom's old flowery long dress coming out of my closet and watching me sleep.
11/01/2015
It feels like there's so much pressure. Like a heavy heavy pile growing taller, crushing my body. I don't like this feeling of guilt because I went to sleep late, people are yelling at me, I procrastinated. And I hate, I hate the feeling of being used, the feeling of being lonely, the feeling of my dreams slowly dying.
11/02/2015
Everything in my world seems so delicate and fragile, like I'm stepping on tiny tiny shards of glass, and I have to be very careful not to cut myself. Holding my breath, like my life is dangling on the limb of a tree, and any sudden movement could cause it to spiral downwards, off a cliff, into a deep dark pit. And I don't want that.
11/04/2015
What I learned on Take Your Kid to Work Day
11/08/2015
Life has been a rollercoaster recently – I volunteered at 0026
's church, and we watched Netflix and talked. I stayed up all night to finish research for my science ISP. (I got 10/10.) I sewed sleeves on a cropped tank, to make it a cute sweatshirt. I went shopping and watched Goosebumps with 0026
, 0002
, and 0130
. At Malachi Fellowship, we made brownies and cookies, and played dodgeball. There was serving today and it was so fun. Work is fun, especially with my peers. And the older people were so lovely.
I have homework to do now. Bye.
11/09/2015
Today was the first day of Spirit Week, PJ Monday. There was free breakfast! And it was very good – pancakes, bacon, and sausages. I even got my favourite flavour of juice box, peach cocktail! Despite the lovely surprise, I felt anxious for the entire day and very aware of the eyes around me.
Even though my science mark was above median, it was still very unsatisfactory. I did well on my healthy eating quiz though. Gym was tiring. There was my favourite lasagna for lunch. Lately I have been feeling a bit more nervous than I would like to. Oh dear.
11/10/2015
Twin Day.
11/11/2015
Today was Wednesday Best. I felt really nervous in the morning but in the afternoon it was better.
11/13/2015
I have this feeling like I can't do anything good enough...
11/23/2015
11/24/2015
I had a dream where a building was sectioned off into divisions – boys, girls, grandpas, grandmas. Separated by sliding elevator doors, there was a Tim Hortons, which was always empty, and a Mr. Sub, where the line was always long. The boss had a lifelong dream of being a movie director. She always yelled at the grandpas, who travelled through doors together, like a herd just trying to find the grandmas.
12/02/2015
You used to say that people never change, and I used to believe you. But I don't believe you anymore. I used to think I knew you, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe people are faking it their entire lives. So you think you know someone, but that's actually not the real them, and you only know their fake selves. Or maybe people are only honest with themselves when they're kids, and as they grow up they learn to fake it, to act a certain way so that people will like them.
How about this? People act differently when they're around different people. Because they want to impress others, or certain people make them feel a certain way. I don't know. All I know is, I used to think I knew you, but now I'm not so sure.
12/06/2015
Visiting 0203
at the hospital.
12/09/2015
12/11/2015
12/17/2015
Christmas concert.
12/18/2015
With 0011
and 0130
on the last day of school before winter break.
12/21/2015
I'm currently rewatching season 6 of Adventure Time. Yesterday I made avocado, egg, mushroom, and bell pepper paninis on poppy seed bread with my mom, and it was super tasty! I got a Hot Topic gift card for Christmas, and I bought a Twenty One Pilots baseball tee, and a really pretty velvet choker with a mood-colour-changing charm.
Oh and I think Spotify Year In Music is cool. I share an account with a few friends, so I was glad to see Twenty One Pilots, Oh Wonder, and Against the Current.
12/25/2015
Christmas at Blue Mountain with 0025
, 0072
, 0022
, 0013
, 0304
, 0305
, and 0306
.
12/2015
A few nights ago, I had this dream. It's kind of hazy now, and I don't remember it fully. There was this girl whose dad died, so she was painting one of the rooms in her house. The room next to that was the room where her dad died. No one knew how he died. We didn't go in, because we didn't want to get our fingerprints on anything, and get accused of murder. But something compelled me to go into that room.
So the next day, I sneaked into her house to see the room. And when I was inside, I accidentally spilled a cup of tea. I was basically screwed, but I tried to leave the house quickly. I turned the corner, and suddenly I was in a church. I heard footsteps, so I ran into a bathroom stall and curled up in a corner.
The next day, I was on the news, and I was a criminal. They caught me, and I experienced public humiliation. So I transported into a park, where I saw many people from my class sitting on trees.
12/31/2015
on Polyvore
albums i loved that were released in 2015 --
1. glitterbug by the wombats
2. american beauty / american psycho by fall out boy
3. froot by marina and the diamonds
4. art angels by grimes
5. another eternity by purity ring
6. smoke + mirrors by imagine dragons
7. a head full of dreams by coldplay
8. oh wonder by oh wonder
9. blurryface by twenty one pilots
10. deadroses by blackbear
11. dawn ep by filous
12. wiped out! by the neighbourhood
13. how does it feel by ms mr
14. communion by years & years
15. the boy who cried wolf ep by olivver the kid
let me know if you loved any of these albums this year and leave some music recommendations!! have a great 2016 xx
01/01/2016
on Polyvore
dear 2016:
i know i was kind of a flop last year and i didn't do a lot of stuff i planned to but this year is a leap year which means i get an extra day. so 2016, you better be more productive because i get 24 hours more than last year to do what i want to do.
i had way too many goals last year (half of which i didn't achieve) so this year i really want just two things.
1. learn to play the piano (mostly chords)
2. learn to read & write japanese
what are some of the things you want to do in 2016?
christina ♡
01/05/2016
01/06/2016
01/07/2016
01/08/2016
Stolen.
02/01/2016
The game I made with 0133
in GameMaker.
02/07/2016
To my 18 year old self:
Can you have a successful YouTube account?
Have you had a job yet?
Do you have a 95 average?
Do you have Photoshop?
Do you have a MacBook?
Do you know Japanese?
Do you know HTML and CSS?
02/14/2016
Cambridge, Ontario.
02/19/2016
School at 7:03 am, going to Horseshoe Valley.
03/05/2016
Going to China.
03/09/2016
Me and 0025
.
03/21/2016
Snapchat stories of 0002
, 0132
, and me.
03/24/2016
04/03/2016
Hectic week as always. Five years ago, I saw 0140
at art class... saw him again this past Wednesday. On Thursday night, I worked on my Bible essay, French tâche, and "Orange You Smiling?" stop motion video until 2:40 am. Fun fun. I actually went to fellowship on Friday, but I don't remember anything.
04/04/2016
No one cares about me or notices the little embarrassing things I do. Everyone is so immersed in themselves, that they don't have time for analyzing others, as they so deeply criticize and judge their own selves. We are all so obsessed with ourselves and we think that everyone else sees what we see. Or maybe that's just me.
04/08/2016
Drama project.
04/15/2016
Leaving Rafaël Rozendaal websites up on school computers.
04/20/2016
My painting, 0307
's in the background, and the original reference on the chair – 庐山 (油画,三合板贴纸,1972年,100x100厘米).
04/28/2016
05/11/2016
There's something about living, and something so peculiar about the way your temples move as you chew. The door squeaks when it's being opened, and whenever I open the cupboard, I can never find any food. But when you open it, there is always something good, and you always give it to me, and I eat it. Except there is always no taste at all.
05/12/2016
It's been a weird few days. And strangely normal as well. Let's see... I got my toothbrush stolen, and saw 0025
at T&T today. Business is booming, I made friends with the post office lady? Procrastinating, I suck at quizzes, school is squirmy. Can't wait till I get out.
05/14/2016
05/17/2016
I'm supposed to be asleep, I have to get up early tomorrow. But there was a moth in my room. It's the only room in my house that still has the lights on. So if I turn off the lights, I am scared the moth will fly around my room and pee on my face.
05/18/2016
05/19/2016
The Gr. 9 service trip was one of my favourite trips. I had a lot of fun with my friends and made some unforgettable memories, while also having the pleasure to serve my community. It was a joy to sort donated clothing, sweep the floors in a building I'd never been to, and meet new people who were so welcoming and appreciative to us.
05/20/2016
Now I'm running and my speed is increasing. I didn't have time to tie up my laces, so I trip over my words and skin my knees. But it doesn't even matter, because I am finally doing it, and I am going somewhere, somewhere I have never been before.
05/2016
I had a dream I was at Hot Topic with my friends. We were looking for the sale section, so we asked an employee. She pointed us in the direction of a bunch of dark jeans on large trays of ice. We looked closer, and there seemed to be coins on the ice. Some of it was covered by a plastic bag. We started collecting the coins. Some guys came up to us, and we played a game to see who would collect the coins.
Later at a dance competition, we saw those four again, performing a hip hop small group. We Googled them, too. Then I heard a Twenty One Pilots song, so I left the house to see who was playing it. It was Tyler Joseph! He kept playing, so we followed him and he led us to a park. By then, there was a crowd of people, but I was the first one and closest. I wanted to take a picture, but I thought I didn't have my phone.
We left. I found out my phone was in my pocket, but it was cracked. Then we found him again, playing at a stage. I went on the stage, and the security alarm went off. So I ran away, and I found ladies giving away free hot dogs and pizza pops.
05/2016
French class.
06/2016
I had a dream I was at a dance competition and I met all three members of HAIM. They were super nice and friendly, and I told them I loved their music. One morning, my mom made me clean the bathroom, so I was late for school. Then I realized I didn't even have my uniform on, so I went back home and cried.
06/2016
I'm tired of waiting every night for the sound of footsteps to fade. I flip my page slowly. I never really thought about the car that passes by my window at two in the morning. It's calming in a way to know that I'm not the only one trying to get somewhere right now. The difference is, the driver knows where he is going.
People don't usually talk so much, it makes me a little uneasy. Sometimes I crack my window open just a smidge and press my ear against the mesh. I only ever hear bits and pieces. Laughter, but I'm not the one laughing. Never included, but somehow I feel less alone listening to the girls on the sidewalk making prank calls on their cell phones. Other times, it's the raccoons who like to fight and squeal and scream. They sound like they have very sharp teeth and one of them will die soon. There will be a bloodbath tonight.
06/17/2016
06/22/2016
We ate together and walked around. Just trying to catch up with 0167
and 0132
. 0026
took her shoes off. We met the others at Tims. My regular – an everything bagel, toasted with cheddar cheese, lettuce, and tomato. Medium iced coffee, no ice. We sat at a table, then other stuff happened. I got chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. So did 0011
and 0112
. Everyone else got irrelevant flavours.
When we walked back to school, we saw 0187
at the bus stop. We don't know her that well, and she had earphones in. We said hi anyways, except she didn't hear us, so we had to say her name a few times with great volume, and we tapped on the glass exterior and waved. And she finally noticed us, but I don't think she knew who we were.
At school, we sat in the hallway in front of Miss 0188
's room. 0112
played music while I scavenged through my voice memos. I think we talked. Also I had a blue freezie. I got it for free. The roof in the hallway is made of glass. In the middle of the day, the sunlight passes through and the parts of the wall that stick out create shadows. There are lines on the ground.
Later, 0136
, 0051
, 0132
and I walked to the other Tims. On the way there, they said a lot of people thought 0167
was going to ask me to prom. I had no clue but I don't think it's true, because there are other people. The more important thing is that 0051
spilled his heart's contents. And we even made references to Twelfth Night. Mrs. 0189
would be so proud.
Each of us actually told each other about our feelings. It was pretty weird, now that I think about it. It was probably the first time I had a conversation like that, with a group like that. Usually those are the talks you have with girls, whispering at a sleepover. Except we were in a loud public setting, sitting in plastic chairs, speaking regularly. I liked this one better. We took a different route back to school. At school, everything was normal. 0190
showed us the very small meeting rooms.
06/23/2016
I finished washing my hair at 9:30, ran to the post office at 9:40, and arrived at school at 10:03. Volunteering with 0130
the entire day – it was nice. I liked spending time with her and everyone else. There was a pizza bouncy castle in front of us. 0130
and I talked about Depop. I like having a Depop friend. I was worried about the Canada Post strike, no more online shopping for a while. Maybe more meetups, or personal delivery. We talked to the Grade 10s, I guess they're 11s now.